Who Said A WIFE Has To Be OBEDIENT To Her HUSBAND?

Excitedly I registered on a website which offers to download free files for tips of happy married life for Muslims. As soon as I received the tips on “How to become your husband’s darling”, I started reading the tips: very lovely presentation it was, I must admit but when I reached the last one it actually made me so annoyed that I had to grab my machine and write this blog.

One day a companion of Muhammad PBUH, came to see Umer RA, who was the caliphate of Muslims at that time. He was about to knock at the door when he heard that Umer RA’s wife was yelling at Him RA, realizing the sensitivity of the situation he returned. Later he met Umer RA in masjid and told him about his coming to see him and the reason he returned without meeting. Then he asked Umer RA surprisingly, Oh Umer you were listening to your wife quietly when she was shouting, I can’t believe it that a man like you, from whom even men cant dare talking like that? Umer RA replied, “Yes, she can, since she is the mother of my children”.

“Incident of IFK”, was the most terrible time for Muhammad PBUH, Aisha RA and her family. When Allah SWT, revealed ayahs in Surah Noor to announce Aisha RA’s innocence, Aisha RA’s mother asked her to thank Muhammad PBUH. Hazrat Aisha RA refused on Prophet’s face, she said why should I thank HIM PBUH, rather I will thank my lord who sent these ayahs to prove my innocence. Prophet Muhammad PBUH smiled and nodded in agreement.

Many a times Muhammad PBUH, explained the characteristics of a wife who will definitely enter Jannah. “A woman who offers 5 time’s prayers, safeguards her chastity in absence of her husband and takes care of her husband’s property.”

Surah Baqrah and Talaaq explain the matters of Divorce in detail. One of the obligations on a man who wishes to divorce his wife is that he can’t terminate the Nikah if she is having manses, and if she is pregnant, then even divorce is most likely to be nullified.
In Surah Mulk, Allah SWT challenges us, to find a single mistake in HIS SWT’s creation. If God has made a woman obedient to men, would she not argue with the lord on the day of resurrection that why didn’t HE make her a man? Could Allah SWT make this flaw in the life of His SWT’s most loving creation?

OBEDIENCE is for the creator only, that’s our lord, our God; Allah, the most praise and obedience worthy. We must replace this phrase “she has to be obedient to her husband” with “both have to be obedient to God and loyal and respectful to each other”.

The outcomes of this man-satisfying phrase are,
• A husband respects and takes care of his parents only and considers his wife’s parents of no importance or at least not to be much like his own.
• Husband’s parents always expect his wife to serve them and their son OBEDIENTLY and never ask for anything in return not even a little respect.
• Children are completely a mother’s responsibility. If they are well mannered and intelligent, it’s because they have gone up to their father or paternal grandfather and if not than they are replica of their mother and mother’s family.
• Women’s share in property is not given with justice or completely.
• Women consider themselves a reason for every misfortune comes to a man. Some even consider themselves to be the only reason of increasing vulgarity in the world and man’s falling for adultery, rape and cheating with their wives.
• In many families God’s rules are now superseded by a father’s or a husband’s.
• The money a man earns, considers himself wholly decide the use for kids or family without any consent of his wife or mother. So if he spends it on alcohol, call girls or anywhere else nobody has any rights to ask about it.
• A woman makes her place in the family by doing such things that would give her attention. Mother feeds better food to male members to be considered loving, a daughter/sister has to dress up like boys and sacrifice her belongings for her brother so that she could get some notice, a wife has to serve selflessly and in return she will get her husband’s LOVE in his bed.
• Men speak about other women and consider it normal, so much so the society also appreciates his being a womanizer, not knowing it encourages everyone around him to do the same, be it a man or woman. The only difference is woman will do it privately.
• Today crimes are increasing at the speed of light and reason mostly is extra marital affairs and property.
• Dissatisfaction among married people is rising; both the partners compare their own with others. Free sex, extra marital affairs and cheating with partners has expanded its boundaries to porn and prostitution.
• A woman has become a commodity. Trafficking, prostitution, killings, girl feticides are all by products of this stinking thought that a woman has to be obedient to men.
• Men want easy money even if he has to sell his wife or daughter. Because she has no respect in his eye.
• Killing for honor is created to protect sinful men; never had we heard a woman killed a man for the same reason.
• Women are entering in criminal activities, having no willingness for a respectful life; rather they earn money and power over men in this way.
• Women are not ready to give natural birth and breast feed their babies.
• Women are earning bread and egg for family and their kids are taken care by television, tablets etc.
• A woman is made conscious of being obedient to her husband at any cost; losing her dignity, her wishes her children’s future, sacrifice her desire for a friendly husband, a person whose knowledge and wisdom matters in family affairs. At work place she has to be paid low, treated less competent and needs to look AMAZING and SEXY if she has to survive.
• A woman’s beauty is the only criteria to get a happy husband, find a good job, or to be given any recognition.
• If she gets higher education she has to earn. Otherwise what use is her education if she can’t support her husband.
• If she works she has to manage home as well, a husband comes home tired so won’t help her and she has to fulfill all those duties which are given to her by Allah and more by the society. She has to be smelling good, Children’s HW must be done before husband comes home as he does not like noise, food must satisfy husband’s love for it, laundry must be done cupboards be set and everything what she was doing before job is still her duty. Any mistake in it is considered disobedience and a ticket to hellfire or “Trying to be equal to HIM”.
• In case of divorce it’s always a wife’s mistake, because she could not keep her husband satisfied and happy.
• Adultery is always a result of a bad character woman’s invite to a very innocent man. And rape is a result of one’s wife not competent, the way she was dressed up or alcohol took away one’s senses for a while.
• And most of all Muslims have completely lost their legacy of producing mothers who gave Hazrat Ismail AS, Hazrat Hasan RA, Abdul Qadir Jeelani etc, to Ummah and this world.
• Children are living a meaningless life they cannot look up to anyone who could give them a meaningful reason to live by some religious or ethical principles. They are living not less than an animal’s life, as Education has become a profitable business. In the name of exposure everything is thrust upon students and extracting good or bad is left upon their understanding of right and wrong. So, are the reason elders or young everyone wants to live according to his own rules and set of laws.

The arguments given to prove that man-satisfying statement are also given from Quran and Hadeeth. I have tried to conduct a little research to come up with the right interpretations of some of ayahs and Ahadeeth intentionally used to make women OBEDIENT to men and superseding Allah’s supremacy.

1. First of all the ayah of Surah Nisaa which says (Extract) “Men are Qawaam for women and rigthous women are OBEDIENT (Qanitat) and safeguard their wealth and chastity in their absence”. (Al Nisaa-34)

In my opinion which is extracted from several translations and fatawas:

The function of qawwam is also understood in the Qur'an to be characterized by fairness. Thus in 4:134 and 5:8, the only other passages in the Qur'an where the word is used, the believers are told:

"O you who believe! Be qawwamin with fairness..."
"O you who believe! Be qawwamin for God as witnesses to fairness..."
Thus to be a qawwam over something or someone is to guard, maintain or take care of that something or someone in a proper and fair manner. If there is any single word in English that can convey the meaning of the word as used in the present word it is probably, “the guardian”.

To understand the word ‘qanitat’, we should check Qur’an for its actual meaning. In Al-Ahzaab/ The Allies 33:35 Allah The Almighty commands:
“The men who submit (Muslim men) and the women who submit (Muslim women), and the believing men and the believing women, and the obeying men and the obeying women…” (Al-Ahzab/The Allies 33:35)

Wal qaniteena wal qanitat: ‘…and the obeying men and the obeying women…’.

If “qanitat” were “the women who obey their husbands”; then “qaniteen” would be “the men who obey their wives”, which would lead to a dilemma. That is why “qaniteen” and “qanitat” can only be “those who obey Allah”.

As the verses explain each other, the ‘obeying women’ in the 34th verse of chapter Nisa, are the women who obey Allah. The word ‘Qanit’ stands for “being obedient to Allah” at its all occurrences in Quran. That’s why the phrase in 4:34 cannot be understood as ‘women being obedient to their husbands’. When both of the spouses obey the rules set by Allah, it leads to a clear satisfactory system in the family. Both men and women should submit to Allah; not to each other. Therefore in a house, there must be objective rules which are set by Allah, not the wishes or rules of husband or wife. So what we shall understand from this verse is ‘Qanit‘ refers to ‘women who are obedient only to Allah’.

2. Secondly a Hadeeth which suggests that “Other than Allah if it was allowed a woman would have to prostrate before her husband”.
In my opinion:
Muhammad PBUH said: "A woman has two veils: the first is the husband and the second is the grave. The one that conceals more is the grave." (Tabrani)
Prophet Muhammad PBUH said: "The worst person on the day of Qiyamah will be the one who reveals the private life of his wife to others." (Muslim)

From this it is apparent how meritorious this love is, man keeps private secrets of woman, so do woman but men are more likely to speak among his friends, since they mostly deal in the society and spend more time out of their homes unlike women, and also that woman are not usually that outspoken regarding such talks, it’s a man’s Ahsaan over his wife.

A man gives children to a woman and takes their responsibilities. Thus it becomes easy for a woman to give best knowledge and environment to his children to grow as productive and useful members of society.

3. Thirdly, Testimony or bearing witness. The Qur’an states that the testimony of one man is equivalent to the testimony of two women. (Al Baqarah-282)
In my opinion:
This is for business agreements where a lot of numbers and rules are meant to be written down and as we all know women are not usually comfortable with such matters because these things are out of their domain, there are chances that one woman can be forgetful especially when she is bearing a pregnancy and having period. These physical and biological changes bring many emotional side affects like loss of memory, irritation towards some specific person, etc. As far as becoming a witness for murder, at the time of writing will, witness to an adultery or other matters are concerned, this rule does not apply.
I am not at all suggesting women to be rebellious or start behaving like tom boys; neither am I saying that whatever I have mentioned above women are never guilty. I am also not saying that everyone in the world is treating their women like this. But what I mean on the basis of my understanding of Quraan and Sunnah is that misunderstanding or misinterpretation of one single word has brought disaster to the whole world. I may describe my intention of good I want to bring in our world, like this:

Thus they can pray (at home), walk, sit, eat side by side. Can politely and respectfully argue about a matter needs to be discussed for the benefit of their family and Aakhirah. Both have to be loyal and appreciating to each other. Because in the whole Quraan I have not found a single Ayah that says that a woman has to obey man. But every where according to the topic both the man and woman are told their obligations towards each other. Remember if one is God-Fearing he/she is not need to be reminded all the time what his/her duties are.
I may be overreacting but when choosing words we must be very conscious especially when it can cause some ambiguity. I know we all understand the word OBEDIENCE used by translators of Quran, refers to be consciousness towards one’s duties, but I think it’s the right translation of Arabic word “Atioo” not “Qanitat”.

One more very important thing I must mention here is that Alhamdulillah I feel blessed and proud as a Muslim woman. This writing is nothing to do with any WOMEN rights problems. Remember that this issue never rose at the time of Prophet Muhammad PBUH and His Khulfai Rashideen, because no woman at that time felt offended by any ayahs of Quran or Ahadeeth and treatment given by their male members of family and society, this is a contemporary issue and when there is something handled wrongly there is a cry. Translations in English; a language not having sufficient vocabulary to replace Arabic word bank, should be used very consciously and carefully.
I am open to listen to any disagreements, but they must be based on Quraan, Sunnah and sahaba’s life. Later scholars are respectful but they can have difference of opinion, which does not in any way makes Quraan, Sunnah and Sahaba’s stand, wrong or doubtful.
I pray to Allah the most merciful and beneficent to forgive me if I have made any mistake in explaining Ayahs of Quran, Ahadeeth or stories from Prophet PBUH or Sahaba’s life. May Allah show us all, the right path, the one which leads to Jannah. Ameen.

Ummah's one of the biggest DRAWBACKS today ......................... Uneducated WOMEN.

“ISIS a threat to Pakistan”: New, Politically Most Selling Slogan.

Like MANY other countries ISIS is a big threat for Pakistan, I don’t say this but some political parties have started to sell this slogan from now so that just like Taliban drama they could create some human tragedies and gain people’s sympathy in future.

A nation which is consisting mostly of uneducated people is again on the edge of a planned bloodshed; this illiteracy is more dangerous in this case, because they are religiously so unaware of their basic Islamic teachings that every time political game players use RELIGION for their political gains and they trust them blindly.

Not so far in the past, we all know Taliban very well, who never attacked places belong to non-Muslims but Masjids and schools and killed Muslims, where as claiming to bring Islam. (By the way Taliban disappeared these days like they never existed, since ISIS drama started.) Some Sind based parties used their name in any incident which law enforcement agencies could not stop or solve. And then kept on yelling “We had informed far ahead that Talibanization is increasing in Karachi, they are bringing their families here. They are in large numbers, but no one took it seriously. Now we are bearing the consequences.” In fact they were ruling Sind at that time.

One phenomenon I don’t understand how they emerge all of a sudden, Osama Bin Laden, never known before 9/11, Taliban before Afghan war, ISIS never before some weeks ago and why only America finds them out, even those countries where they belong to, are usually not aware of their presence and training activities.

ISIS is planning to take over only Iraq and Syria but Pakistani politicians have started to get troubled about it already for no reason, or may be relief is completely given to flood affected, separatists and IDPs who may easily be influenced to become a part of those terrorist groups which provide them with their basic necessities with respect and promise of a palace in heaven. Thus I blame such Pakistani governments who invite them in Pakistan and put blame of their incompetency on those intentionally imported terrorist groups. Sometimes I feel as if I haven’t seen filthier thing in my life but Politics of Pakistan. Our politicians can kill their own countrymen to make their worldly gods happy and be known as progressing and liberal Muslims, on a heavy cost of defaming Islam and Pakistan but why would they care, they have done big business deals like buying debris from Afghanistan and sell it to Indian Steel mills, so that both the neighboring countries can prosper,  their economy could boost and what if Pakistanis don’t, they are nothing more than crawling insects for them, but these political idols must flourish forever.

Today on this planet only Muslims are going through turmoil. There is nowhere in the world that they are not humiliated for following Islam, or called terrorists or their integrity is not doubted and challenged. Many are moving to Muslim countries to find peace but their confidence is shattered even more badly, after knowing that their own Muslim brothers are the ones who do not only help propagating anti-Muslim conspiracies but heavily finance to make them successful. THUS MY FIGHT IS WITH THOSE MUSLIMS who are maligning Islam and making this world a hell for Muslims, just for some worldly benefits.

Be assured I don’t have any connections with TALIBAN and ISIS, but I am just an ordinary Pakistani and a faithful believer of the lord of all the worlds.

Is today’s Muslim ruled by TWO Gods?

What best practising Muslims are seen everywhere these days, what a refreshing environment and amazing surrounding to do as good as a Muslim can. Nobody is trying to break traffic rules and signals, no music is heard, women are wearing reasonabily covered  dresses, TV ads are Islam oriented, no street quarrels are observed, Muslims caring for needy, for Muslim Ummah, fulfiling promises and what not; It must be Quran, which has brought this change, though a short lived. As Allah in Surah Naml mentions, “Therefore, O Prophet put your trust in Allah: you are certainly on the right menifest truth. You can not make the dead (hearted) to hear you, nor can convey your call to the deaf, who have turned their backs and are running away from you, nor can guide the blind (with eyes)against their errors. You can only make those people to listen to you , who believe in our Reveleations and then submit (to Us) compeletely.” (79-81)

One thing which clinches my heart always, Is, “wether today’s Muslims are obeying two Gods?” One who rules us in Ramadan and for whom we become such good Muslims and other one which seems more powerful also, and we submit to him during rest of the year. We all know very well that the acts which are not allowed in Ramadan are forbidden afterwards as well,  and there is no room of hypocrisy and Shirk in Islam. Then how could we dare to annoy the only god, “Allah” who is the only ruler of all mankind; Remember we can’t fool Allah but ourselves. This is last Ashra and 3 more Lailatul Qadr are also ahead, so lets repent together and pray to the only lord that he may lead us all to the right path, as he loves to forgive those who admit their wrongs.

“ I have been comanded to live as a Muslim, and to recite the Quran. Now whosoever follows the guidance, will follow it for his own good, and for him who goes astray say ‘I am only a warner.’ Say to them ‘Praise is only for Allah; very soon he will show you his Signs, which you shall recognize; and your lord is not unaware of what you do.” (Al Naml, 92-93)

Really interested to bring peaceful REVOLUTION in Pakistan?

“Do 1 thing and get 5 revolutionary benefits”

First what those 5 benefits are?1. Bring trustworthy, conscientious, courageous, people-powered rulers/government.
2. Politics will be considered a noble and important effort. Thus from each part of the country only deserving candidates will reach the parliament, which is an institute who decides nation’s fortune.
3. Merit-based culture will become a natural working phenomenon in Pakistan.
4. Equality in every walk of life. VIP culture will vanish.
5. Collective responsibility of making Pakistan a wonderful land in the world will be felt by each individual.

NOW U MUST B INTERESTED TO KNOW THE ONLY THING WE HAVE TO DO TO GET THE ABOVE MENTIONED BENEFITS????????????Give every child an EDUCATED mother.

Who spends 8 peaceful hours with her children to make them learn to be a productive citizen. And at least rests for 8 hours so to perform her job well. You might not agree but u must take some time to think over rationally before disagreeing. And then do share what is your point of view.

Salman Taseer, another victim of ignorance and intolerance

We say one dies so we mean ones life ends, but the one who dies actually starts the life which he has to live forever. Now days such incidents are happening so frequently all around the world in which it can’t be decided that who was at fault and who is given punishment for no reason. At that time whether someone believes in the final day or life after death or not, feels deep inside his heart that there shall be a day when the truth would be told and the one who will decide shall be the most just. Thus now like other such events we shall leave this decision, in this case also, on the only mighty and the courts, and must try to find out the differing point, before that more victims of intolerance and ignorance come into view.

Media and civil society, all the time emphasize, on increasing intolerance in the public, but never talks about root causes. Only if we could answer one question we will get all the solutions of every increasing patterns of intolerance, and that is “when does intolerance develop?”   

Islam is a peaceful religion and gives the full freedom of speech and expression. That means this right is given to every human whether muslim or non muslim, religious or secular, politician or public, fanatic or liberal and so on. Now lets look at the behavior of media and civil society, it is always observed that they have segregated the talking heads into favorites and non favorites. Those who talk what they want to listen to and agree only with their opinions, they will be heard all the time but those who differ a bit they will be heard too, but with decisive comments by the anchors and writers. Thus when some one will feel ignored and not heard even if true what he will do? I mean to say let public or viewers decide themselves who is talking right and who is not only then media and civil society can say they are creating tolerance among people, otherwise they are the original actors to develop intolerance around the world.

Like so many others I am also very sad today, for Salman Taseer and as well for Malik Mumtaz Qadri, the killer of The Governor. Reason being they both were ignorant. None of them understood Allah’s book and its message of peace for the whole humanity. They both were intolerant also, as both were not ready to accept each others different points of view.

The most repeated thought in Allah’s book is respect everyone’s point of view so that implement peace in the world at any cost. Thus in my point of view the only solution to remove all the worries from this planet, and to build patience and tolerance, is to tell Allah’s message with its true spirit and this is the responsibility of muslim, jews and Christian priests along with the most influential actor now days, the media. We shall also pray to God that when we would die, shall neither be ignorant nor those who incurred his wrath. Ameen

I believe ASIA MASEH is innocent!!!!!

Dated: 2nd December 2010

A friend of mine was suggesting me that we shall read “Toheen-e-risalat ordinance” ourselves, as to comprehend well, the recent and the hottest issue of ASIA MASEH. You might not like my reply but I still think I was not saying it unconsciously, I said “I am least bothered about this issue, and I can swear to Allah that ASIA MASEH is innocent”.

In fact, I strongly consider that the group on facebook, which has announced another competition of drawing Muhammad PBUH, on 8^th Dec, is also not doing anything disrespectful to our prophet Muhd PBUH.

I really appreciate Jews, Christians and all those non-Muslims who are doing their best to defame Islam and Muslims. Because, they are doing what, they think their faith demands from them.

You Know Why??????

 When Muslims are told that Islam is the best way of living good life, they are the first ones to shout HOW COME?  NO, NOT AT ALL, WE HAVE TO COPE UP WITH REST OF THE WORLD!!!

If they are told that MUHAMMAD PBUH’s sunnah is something we can follow and raise our respect and dignity in the whole wide world, as he was the most successful teacher, leader, politician, policy maker, justice, an economist, human rights activist, then the people who call  themselves Muslims would reply in a stranger’s way, WE DON’T FIND ANY SUCH GUIDANCE IN HIS TEACHINGS!!!

And if they are given their social, economical, political problems’ solutions from the holy book Quran, these Muslims, feel like dying as if they are asked to accept something out of this world, and they say IF THESE SYSTEMS WERE AS SUCCSSESSFUL WHY AREN’T THEY EXISTING ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD???

When these by birth but not by faith Muslims are told that Allah has already defined,  the best women rights, human rights, foreign policy, huduud ordinance, in his Quran they will give you such a weird look as if saying HOW CAN ALLAH BE MORE UP-TO-DATE AND SMART THAN US???

THUS,

I consider that MUSLIMS themselves are committing the sin of disgracing and disrespecting Allah, their Prophet Muhammad PBUH and Islam, more than any one else.

These suicide Muslim attackers also claim that they are doing it for saving Islam, I strongly consider them THE MOST WRONG.

Allah says in Quran,

“And there are some even among the people of the book, who believe in Allah and in the Book which has been sent down to you and in the Scripture which was sent down to themselves, before this; they humble themselves before Allah and do not barter away Allah’s revelations for paltry worldly gains; they will have their reward from their lord; for Allah is vey swift in settling accounts. (Ayat 199, Sura Ale Imran)

That is the reason I said ASIA is innocent, that facebook group is not guilty, both Jews and Christians are not doing any thing wrong. All of them do not know Muhammad PBUH, like we Muslims do. They are not aware of the dynamics of Muhammad’s personality but we the Muslims do. As the ayat mentioned above says that if the people of book are rightly taught Quran they would never turn away their face from it in fact, they will accept it like the most precious blessing of their lord. In the end only I want to say is that we must ask ourselves that on the day of judgment they will be sent to heaven and we the possessors of the holy Quran will be sent to jahanum, just for one reason, do we know what is that reason?